And the sensitivity of each component varies from person to person.” and their divorce papers.”Īccording to their “dual control model,” the sexual response mechanism in our brains consists of a pair of universal components-a sexual accelerator and sexual brakes-and those components respond to broad categories of sexual stimulations, including genital sensations, visual stimulation, and emotional context. Trying to understand sex by looking at behavior is like trying to understand love by looking at a couple’s wedding portrait. “But if you really want to understand human sexuality, behavior alone won’t get you there. For a long, long time in Western science and medicine, women’s sexuality was viewed as Men’s Sexuality Lite-basically the same but not quite as good.” The frustrating reality is we’ve been lied to-not deliberately, it’s no one’s fault, but still. Most Important Keywords, Sentences, Quotes: Meta-Emotions: The Ultimate Sex-Positive Context.Cultural Context: A Sex-Positive Life in a Sex-Negative World.

Emotional Context: Sex in a Monkey Brain.

Context: And The “One Ring” (to Rule Them All) In Your Emotional Brain.

The Dual Control Model: Your Sexual Personality.

See /listener for privacy information.Come As You Are is divided into four major themes and a total of 9 chapters : RAINN on consent and information for sexual assault survivors “ACE: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire Society” by Angela ChenĮmily learned the language of “willing consent” from Suzanne Iasenzaįor more on “human givers” and “human winners” read “Burnout”Įmily’s definition of consent: “Everyone is glad to be there and free to leave with no unwanted consequences.

If you have a question for Emily, call the Come As You Are hotline at (646) 397-8557‬ or send a voice memo to Tell us your pronouns and pseudonym (pick a name, any name!) Your question might be answered on the show.ĪDDITIONAL RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: If this episode brings up some feelings for you, check out our resources below. A heads up before listening: in this conversation, we touch on difficult topics such as coercion and manipulation in sex. Mo’s girlfriend joins the conversation, and they delve into the idea of “enthusiastic maybe” in consent and how to handle all the comfortable, joyful, and consensual “maybes” that can come up in sex. Mo and her girlfriend are considering a new sexual experience but they’re not both an “enthusiastic yes” on the idea. This week, Emily answers a question from her producer, Mo, about consent.

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